When we help clients with estate planning, we often suggest they think beyond just wills and trusts. Your loved ones might appreciate your life advice as much as your legal documents… This past Father's Day, I decided to take my own advice. I wandered down the trail through the woods behind our house to my favorite spot by the creek, notebook in hand, and finally put down a few (hopefully useful) words of wisdom for my two young boys. Plenty of tears later, here’s what I came up with:
My Dearest Boys,
If you're reading this, first off, know that I loved you more than I could ever express... Life's journey is short, unpredictable, messy, and beautiful. Here's a handful of things I've picked up along the road:
Live fully in the present. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow will never come. You have only so many hugs, holidays, late-night laughs, and sunsets. And you never know which will be your last, so savor each one.
Try not to stress too much about the future. One of my favorite quotes is, "I've been through some horrible things in my life, a few of which actually happened."
Ultimately, only kindness matters. Not only to others but to yourself. Remorse is proof that you care. Learn from your mistakes, dust yourself off, and try again.
Surround yourselves with people who lift you up and media that inspires you. Over time, you become the sum of who you hang out with and what you read/watch.
You only get one body, take care of it. Stay active, eat right, sleep more, and stress less. It makes all the difference in the world.
Helping others is the greatest shortcut to happiness.
Money in and of itself is a horrible goal. The greatest thing money can buy is control over your own time. It gives you choices and frees you from living according to someone else's priorities. And if money is freedom, debt is a prison… avoid it like the plague.
Embrace the rule of thirds: ⅓ of your life, you'll feel on top of the world, ⅓ will be a grind, ⅓ will suck. No matter how good or bad life feels at any given moment, remember: this too shall pass.
Challenges aren't punishments, they're invitations to grow. None of the things I am proud of came easily (the two of you included!).
Few decisions will shape your happiness, direction, and daily life more profoundly than choosing your life partner. Pick someone who brings out your best, challenges you, makes you belly laugh and stands by you when life gets tough.
Always be honest. Integrity is one of your greatest assets. Doing what's right and telling the truth isn't always easy, but few things matter more.
Live your life as if you're looking back from your deathbed. I'd like to think my eulogy won't highlight the cars I drove or the degrees I earned. Instead, I hope it's filled with memories… the first fish you caught, camping trips, ski days, and those family sunsets on the beach in Costa Rica.
Above all, be true to yourself, give freely, laugh hard, and love deeply.
I may no longer be there in person, but will be forever by your side.
You're my greatest joys.
Always,
Dad